Sunday, March 30, 2008

Woman auctions cross shaped fish sticks on eBay



A woman in Elyria, Ohio, is selling fish sticks on eBay, claiming she found crosses in them as a sign from God honoring Holy Week, a report said.

Victoria Landis said she couldn't find it in her heart to cook the store-bought fish sticks after seeing in them what she believes is a Holy sign, WEWS-TV in Cleveland reported.

"I went to cook them one day and I poured them out into the pan and there were three kind of fused together in a way that made three mini crosses, and the way they fell on the pan it looked just like the hill where Jesus was crucified," Landis said.

Landis decided to auction them off in an effort to raise money for a family van.

EBay has a policy against selling food items, however.

What an Elyria woman billed as "Good Friday Miracle Fish Sticks" have sold for about $79 on eBay.

Victoria Landis said in one box of frozen fish sticks, she found pairs stuck together like three crosses. Landis said they looked just like the familiar image of the crosses on Calvary Hill when Jesus was crucified.

"I went to cook them one day and I poured them out into the pan and there were three kind of fused together in a way that made three mini crosses, and the way they fell on the pan it looked just like the hill where Jesus was crucified," said Landis.

She put the fish sticks back in the freezer and got them out several days ago to post on eBay in hopes of raising money for the new family van she's been praying for.

"As a blended family of nine people, we have a lot of transportation issues because we don't have a car big enough to hold us all, and I had been praying for a long time for God to provide a way for us to get a new van," said Landis. "I kind of want to work with what He gave me here in these fish sticks … and I could turn them into a van for us."

The auction ended Thursday morning. Landis explains that the price includes the expected high cost of next-day shipping in five pounds of dry ice, so the unidentified buyer will have the fish sticks while it's still Holy Week.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Missing NY rev. found at Ohio strip club

RIVERSIDE — A pastor reported missing after he left his Lewiston, N.Y., home on Wednesday to go to Best Buy was found in a Riverside strip club 422 miles away on Friday, March 28.

A Riverside officer patrolling the lot at K.C. Lounge, 4766 Airway Road, at about 12:40 a.m. noticed an out-of-state license plate, according to reports. The officer discovered the owner, Craig S. Rhodenizer, 46, was listed as a missing and possibly endangered, and sought by the Niagara County Sheriff's Department and the FBI.

Lyndonville Pastor Craig Rhodenizer, missing since Wednesday, was found early Friday morning, hundreds of miles away, inside a strip club in Riverside, Ohio which is just outside of Dayton.

Rhodenizer, the pastor of St. John's Lutheran Church in Lyndonville, N.Y., told his wife he was going to get his computer fixed at Best Buy on Wednesday.

Rhodenizer was coherent when police approached him.

"He initially was very easy to talk to," Detective Matt Sturgeon said. "When he started to realize there was a nationwide search and this was serious, there was an instantaneous switch and he became extremely disoriented and confused."

He said he didn't know why he came to Riverside nor did he know anyone here. He then asked about his wife and son and said he didn't know what day it was. When medics asked if he felt any pain, he said he felt "emotionally guilty."

Sturgeon said Rhodenizer was taken to Grandview Hospital for a 48-hour psychiatric evaluation.

The report said Rhodenizer was in the club for two hours and drank three or four beers. One dancer said he paid for three or four private dances. She claimed he became verbally aggressive when he offered to pay her to return to his motel room with him and she refused.

She also said he wouldn't tell her where he was from, but did say he "hadn't been in a strip club for over 20 years and it was about time he was in one again."

Police contacted Rhodenizer's wife, Susan, and the Niagara County Sheriff's Department. The department asked Riverside officers to impound Rhodenizer's Toyota Camry and take possession of a computer, which was found with a bottle of Bacardi and an empty gallon bottle of gin.

Vicar Offers Stress Relief

BERLIN (Reuters) - A vicar in Germany who had the novel idea of helping parishioners escape the stresses and strains of daily life by letting them lie in an open grave was upset when intrusive journalists spoiled the atmosphere.

"I meant it as a meditative exercise," pastor Thorsten Nolting told Reuters. "I wanted people to think about what weighs on them down in the darkness and gather the energy to resist it."

Nolting, from the western German city of Duesseldorf, said his plan went "horribly wrong" when journalists' persistent questioning as parishioners were "laid to rest" earlier this week ruined the serenity of the occasion.

"It wasn't silent, as it should have been. They ruined it. (They) would not go away, even when I asked them," he said.

Extraverts who could cope with the incessant questioning were happy to climb down into the two meter long hole, and then rave about their "resurrection," Nolting said.

But a local newspaper said one man was still shaking, 20 minutes after his seven-minute spell in the dank grave ended.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Pope baptizes famous Muslim convert

One of the seven adults the Pope baptized on Saturday night was Magdi Allam, 55, an Egyptian-born journalist who, as deputy director of the leading newspaper Corriere della Sera, is one of Italy's best-known intellectuals.

Allam, a fierce critic of Islamic extremism and a strong supporter of Israel, is protected by a police escort because of threats he has received.

Poignant that the guy has to have bodyguards during his baptism. It recalls the early days of Rome.

Wife-Beatin' Bishop to Preach on Easter

Georgia Bishop Thomas W. Weeks, who gave his televangelist wife Juanita Bynum an almighty beating in an Atlanta parking lot last August, will perform Easter Sunday services tomorrow.

According to the police report, Bynum said that Weeks "choked her, pushed her down, kicked and stomped her," and "continued stomping" her into the ground. He also threatened to kill his estranged wife.

Bishop Weeks and Bynum
Since choking, pushing and kicking his soon-to-be ex, Weeks has apologized to Bynum and his congregation for his fist-filled rage. According to the ajc.com, Weeks will be back at the pulpit preaching on Sunday.

It's almost guaranteed no one will be caught talking during Weeks' Easter sermon.

Friday, March 21, 2008

What is Easter?


Easter, unbeknownst to man, is when Christ emerged from his tomb, saw his shadow and declared 6 more weeks of winter.

Shhhhhhhhhhhh


On Good Friday, you must observe silence between the hours of 12:00 - 3:00.

Shhhhhhh, Jesus is dying out there!

Mercy, dude looks like a lady.

God's cure for gays lost in sin

Former residents say separation contracts, a ban on physical contact and teachings by an 'ex-gay' are part of Mercy Ministry's attempts to stamp out homosexuality in its flock.

Sy Rogers … no longer gay.

Sy Rogers … no longer gay.

Thank Good its Friday (yeah)

Dear Smoking Jesus, I was reading in the paper today about a school that had decided to make Good Friday (today) a school day, overturning past tradition. Some Catholic parents objected, saying they had to take the kids to church, but isn't Good Friday the ONE day of the year there is no Mass?


TSJ says, "It's Stations of the Cross on Good Friday, my friend. Be prepared for a 3 hour long service at least."

Challenge: Post the Weirdest Album Cover

I already win!



Rev.Alberta Baker
I originally started posting records like these on my site to try and illustrate the kind of oddities I was running into in thrift stores. Christian records had to be included because here in the U.S., you never spend a day thrifting without running into at least one curious example of them.

The do-it-yourself Christian record was a huge trend in the '60s and '70s and every small town artist with something to say got into the act. Most were pressed in limited quantities specifically for friends and family and many never got further than their own home town borders. The vast majority of these are traditional Gospel LPs and not of interest to me. Others displaying foreign-to-me cultural values, opinions and ideas tend to capture my attention.

The album featured here by organist Alberta Baker is part of a larger trend of disabled artists producing music and releasing albums during this period.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

A Secret Revealed

The following audio clip is shocking, even to Jesus



*Update: The lawyers who advise Jesus from time to time have suggested that Jesus remove this clip for the time being.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

He's got a get well card to deliver

and he is going to do it by hand. Cuz maybe it's YOU in your four post bed sound asleep but still grinding your teeth.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

God just left a voicemail for Sally Kern

kernnn__opt1.jpg

The truth always comes out!!!!

As it should happen to be…

The homophobic Republican hatemonger from Oklahoma has a gay son!!!!

That's right, Sally Kern's son Jesse is a big ol' homo.

We're sure he's REAL PROUD of mommy!

And, it has also been revealed that Good Ol' Sally has lied about receiving death threats.

Thank you Perez for bringing this to the attention of Jesus.

**UPDATE**
This just in... Ellen DeGeneres

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Monsignor John Urell is on the march home.



Thanks Christopher H. for this. It made Jesus cry.